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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Dugaan Tuhan

(paste from old blog)



Ya Allah…tak dapat aku bayangkan dugaan yg sdg menimpe salah sorang kwn aku…berat mata memandang…aku tau berat lagi bahu dia memikul…aku pun tak tahu nak bg respon mcm mana bila dgr ape yg dia br bgtau aku td…terkejut…terkedu…sedih…simpati…dan mcm2 lagi…air mata ku tumpah jua…aku pun tak bole nak jwb bila dia tanye nape xabis2 ujian dia terima…lepas satu…satu…aku tau..aku paham…memang mudah bila kt sebut perkataan SABAR…BERTENANG…REDHA…tp bukan mudah melaksanakannya…aku phm dan sgt2 phm..tp nothing else yg blh aku lafazkan…pendek kate…dugaan ini…dia yg tempuhi…aku xtau nk bantu camne…nk tenangkan camne..i’m so sad right now…

kdg kala kt terpikir nape musibah melanda kt…segala mslh yg berat2 menimpa kehidupan kt smpai kdg2 kt rs sgt lemah…tak kuat utk hadapi dugaan tersebut…tp aku selalu kuatkan ati dgn berpegang pd prinsip…dugaan itu tdk akan diberi oleh Allah S.W.T jika kt tdk mampu hadapi dugaan tu…Allah S.W.T lbh tau kemampuan setiap makhluknya & tdk akan diberikan ssuatu dugaan itu di luar batasan kemampuannya…aku tau dia kuat…aku tau dia bole hadapi..aku nak bgtau dia yg dia seorg yg sgt tabah..slama aku kenal dia pun…aku tau dia sgt tabah…very strong dr segi jiwanya…klau aku kt tempat dia pun..i’m not sure bole berjaya mcm dia..dr zaman remaja dh diuji…i know u can do it my sweet friend…let say dia bc post ni…i just want her to know…that i’m really proud to have a friend like you…aku hrp semua tu tdk benar…hopefully after checkup semuanya tak seteruk yg disangka…insyaAllah…..

bile jd sume ni…aku realize..spttnye kt kne lebih bersyukur dgn ape yg kt ada…setiap org ade mslh tersendiri..bg kt…mslh kt tu la mslh yg terbesar di dunia…tp sbnrnye…org lain ade mslh yg lbh bsr…jd sekurang2 nya…kt kne bersyukur dgn ape jua limpa kurnia yg tlh diberikan…bukan kt utk menilai kuasa Tuhan…ape lagi utk pertikaikan segala ketentuan yg dah ditetapkan…sume yg berlaku msti ade hikmahnya…just be strong friend…i know..ckp mmg mudah kan…it’s hard to be actually…tp klau kt yakin dgn-Nya..insyaAllah..everything would be ok…jgn pikir terlalu jauh…aku pun buntu…xtau nk ckp ape…sometimes rs cam kwn yg bad je..slalu diam n say nothing…actually byk yg ada dlm kepala..but dun know how to express it…erm…dugaan tuhan….

dh la ari selasa yg lalu…my sis ana bgtau dia keguguran…sgt terkejut…aku tau betapa dia sgt excited n happy bile dpt tau yg dia pregnant…rs kesian sgt…n of coz aku pun turut terasa kesedihan dia…hrp2 dia tabah hadapi dugaan ni…and to my beloved friend…aku pun hrp ko tabah hadapi satu persatu ujian Allah S.W.T…ingat la yg Dia sygkan kt…sbb tu ujian diberi utk pastikan jiwa kt lbh kuat n yakin dengan-Nya…be strong friend…i love u…..(~,~)

Sunday, March 13, 2011

sinar suria (^^,)

(paste from old blog)
 “bila kita yakin dgn Allah S.W.T..insyaAllah akan dipermudahkan segala urusan…”
itu antara pesan n nasihat my sis ana to me..bila dilanda masalah..kata2 dia yg tu selalu terngiang2 kt tinge aku…n aku akui kebenarannya..alhamdulillah…hub aku dan mr.right kembali jernih dan bertambah kukuh…he’s there for me…hold my hand n never let me down…i do really love him…bila dia ade bersama aku..di sisi aku…aku lbh bersemangat n yakin utk berdepan dgn masalah aku…aku rs lbh tenang…rs dilindungi…rs mcm2 lagi la…syukur…dia msh di sini..msh berjuang utk bersama2 dgn aku…hidup aku kini rs seceria sang mentari…cerah..bersinar..terang…sume sbb DIA (^^,)


now i know n realize that he’ll do anything for me…rs terharu sgt dgn ape yg jd lately ni..bile difikir blk..terasa betapa kejam n ht batu betul aku ni…sanggup buat dia smpai mcm tu..entah ape yg merasuk aku kali ni smpai ht xde prasaan..huhuhuuh…aku tau dia terluka…i’m so sorry…mmg ape y jd kdg2 msg2 pun ade slh dan silapnya..aku xpenah slhkn dia 100% atas ape jua yg berlaku…i know i’m not perfect n ade byk kelemahan…n aku pun pttnye bole terima yg dia pun manusia biasa…xlari dr melakukan kesilapan…keras betul ht utk memaafkn dia kali ni..i’m sorry syg…(~,~)




this time..he protect me again…just like before…(^^,) mr.right ckp..klau aku xdpt keje pun…dia akan ttp jg aku…dia msh mmpu sara n jg aku…nape mesti campur adukkn soal kerja n soal kawen…huhuhuuh….aku xberniat nk memperkecilkan dia…aku tau dia punya rasa t/jwb yg tinggi…mmg dia bole sara aku…tp aku ttp risau…aku perlukan keje ni…huhuuhuh…dia byk tolong aku cari keje..kesian…xabis2 nyusahkan dia kan?? (~,~)….tp…berpegang pd kt2 ktorg skung…”berat same dipikul..ringan same dijinjing”…lgpun btl jg ape yg mr.right ckp..klau aku risau n serabut gile pun…bnde ttp camni gak..xde perubahan..kan lbh bek berusaha n berdoa aje…selebihnye serahkn pada yang maha kuasa…maybe aku perlu lebih bertenang…



weeeee~~~~yg pastinya…aku rs bersyukur sgt…lega…dan of couse gembira…smlm dia teman aku tgk cite hikayat merong mahawangsa…OST filem lagu anuar zain…ahahhaha…aku tau dia xske pape yg berkaitan dgn anuar zain..tp dia layan kan jgk aku…wakkakkaka….best3x… (^^,) aku janji akan lbh berusaha utk ms depan kami bersama..insyaAllah…..

Thursday, March 10, 2011

should i??

(paste from old blog)



minggu ni sangat memenatkan…bole dikatekan 3 ari dah aku xsempat lunch..bile dh petang mmg lapar gile..pg td bgn termuntah2…aku rasa sebab perut terlalu kosong..dah masuk angin kot…ni sume gara2 bos aku la…langgar sume time makan…aku pun dah tak tahu nak wutpe gi…mmg bad mud la this week…rini dia dah gi langkawi utk presentation tu…lega rasa hati ni…selesai 1 tugas berat…fuhhhhh (~,~)
rini nak balik mlk..bos approve cuti 2 ari for monday n tuesday…weee~~~ dapatlah aku rehat puas2 kt umah…gi pun anak2 buah aku yg comel2 tu blk mlk sminggu coz cuti skool…best!!! rindu gile kat si haris especially….my sis pregnant…dpt g sorang g nnti…insyaAllah…best…ehehehe…i luv babies!!!

skung tgh usaha keras cari keje…aku mesti dapatkn keje at least 3 bln sblum aku abis kontrak…just tinggal lbh kurang 5-6 bln je…takut gile la…(~,~) sgt RISAU!!! yg my bos bgitau tu dulu…xjd sbb peruntukan tak dapat dr gomen…sedey kan..tu psl aku xnak berharap sgt ritu…tp nak wut camne…xleh kawal prasaan..aku sgt hepi n excited ms bos bgtau tu..rs lega sangat…tp tgk pe jd skung ni??? sume nye xde jaminan pun…tu yg aku start serabut balik psl future aku ni…

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

negative thinking~

(paste from old blog)



smlm aku tdo kol 9mlm…i’m felt so badly last night…i dun know why…i’m just afraid…afraid with the future..uncertain future…(~,~)…jam 1.30pg aku terjaga…bad dream as well..argh…why i can’t even feel calm in a dream?? golek punye golek..terlelap balik..then jam 3.45pg…terjaga again!! dush!! skt ati sgt..nk tdo dgn aman pun xbole…aduhai~~ last2 aku xtdo blk pun…just terkebil2 n berfikir dan berfikir smpai pg….so this morning kpala rs berat n pening~~



i was thinking ’bout myself..my career..my life…my relationship…my family…and semua tu berlegar2 di fikiran aku tanpa hala tuju…aku pk ape nak jd dgn diri aku ni…i’m almost 28′ but nothing to be proud of…no saving..no fixed job…no gud investment…NOTHING!!! terpk nape org len idup senang lenang aje? nape diaorg byk duit? nape parents diaorg kaye raye? n everything was so fibrous!!! (~,~)

bersyukur…yes i am..i got everything in returns…but still tak tahu ntah kenapa semlm pkran was so negative…(~,~) maybe because i’m so afraid utk melangkah ke dunia yg baru kot..i dunno…just worried ’bout my parents especially…still ke aku bole maintain mcm skung if dah kawen nnti? aku nak…aku nak maintain camni…i love my parents so much…more than anyone in this world…b’coz they alwiz shows how much they love me…needs me..count on me..and prioritise me…keyakinan disygi..KEYAKINAN…this is what i want dari dulu lagi…tu harapan n impian aku dr dulu..dr kck2 lagi…and now i got it..of coz aku nak maintain sumenya…in a simple word…maybe aku mcm belum ckup sedia melangkah ke dunia baru aku kot??? am i??? (~,~)



maybe aku terlalu byk b’pk kot…smpai terpk bnda yg bkn2…ntahla..lately ni…asyik bnda yg sme je jd..aku pun xtau mane silapnya..dr aku ke??? nape kdg2 dia buat aku rs cam xdisygi?? camne klau aku ckp aku tkt nk kawen??? seriusly…aku sgt TAKUT!! aku takut aku xmmpu jd isteri yg baik utk mr.right..aku tkt aku xdpt penuhi sgala t/jwb aku sbgai seorg isteri n at the same time sbgai seorg anak yg bek..aku tkt aku xbahagia…aku tkt hub ni xberkekalan..aku tkt ttg sgala2 nya yg xpasti…i am afraid!!! ntah kenapa aku hilang keyakinan ttbe…plz…bg la semula keyakinan yg penah hadir dlm diri aku ni…i need it right now…! (-_-”)
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I'm your ERASER

pencil: you know, i'm really sorry

eraser: for what? you didn't do anything wrong to me...

pencil: i'm sorry cause you get hurt because of me..whenever i made mistake, you're always there to erase it. but as you made my mistake vanish, you lose a part of yourself..you get smaller and smaller every time :(

eraser: that's true...but i don't really mind. you see, i was made to do this..i was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. eventhough, one of these days, i know i'll be gone and you have to replace me with a new one, i'm actually happy with my job..so please stop worrying...i HATE seeing you SAD because of me..

I do really LOVE you bie...

I do really LOVE you bie...